Soul Subscription
We look after your soul so you don’t have to. Monthly plan, cancellable in 999 years.
£59.90/month
Our solutions
EvilWatch
The smartwatch that counts your steps, and your minions’. Mind-control features sold separately.
£599
Volcano Lair
Turnkey lair inside a (mostly) dormant volcano. Shark tank, monorail and self-destruct button included.
from £5.9 million
Lair Insurance
Covers stakes, sunlight, angry villagers, secret agents and meddling children.
from £13/month